Sunday, September 03, 2006

Conjoined Nonuplet Girlfriends

When nine babies are born at the same time to the same mother, they are called nonuplets. The babies are called that. Not the mother. She’s not part of the set of kids. It’s like they’re twins, only nine of them, though. It’s like nine twins. It must hurt the mom to shoot all nine of them out her ass. You know she’s gonna be feeling that for a long time. Anyway, it would be worse if they were all stuck together like those conjoined twins. It would be conjoined nonuplets. There’s this one girl down the block from me who I have been dating for some time now. She’s a conjoined nonuplet. Her parents are Japanese anime cartoons; which is surprising because it is very rare that Japanese anime cartoons have nine conjoined babies that leak out into the real world. But they are pretty, though. One problem I have with all of this is that I have a hard time telling my girlfriend apart from her other eight identical conjoined sisters. So that’s why I just date all of them at the same time. It is easier for all of us. Plus, they don’t mind it when I call them all the same name. They practically all have the same name, they just spell the name slightly differently. One is Ilene, another is Aileen, then there is Ayeleen, I’Leane, Ileen, Isleene, Ilean, and the other one is Aeileane. The funny thing about all of it is that they don’t even lean. Mostly they just lie around because it is way easier than standing and walking. If they have to get somewhere fast, they cartwheel.