Monday, August 07, 2006

Lesbian Ass Candles

You know how when you prance through the forest with a candle in your ass and the candle burns down to a nub and singes your ass hairs? That’s been happening to me a lot lately. The forest lesbians keep me prancing with their tricky lesbian ways for longer than I realize and then before I know it, my ass hair is singeing. It smells. They all laugh at me. I’m just waiting to see if when they stop kissing each other, they’ll start kissing me. But they never do. They’re always just kissing each other only. I always feel like I can imagine myself in there doing it also. It seems so real, like it is about to happen. When I lean in to participate, they twist my nipples hard and push my face in with their meaty hands. It hurts. But it doesn’t hurt as bas as when one of the lesbians sneaks around behind me and slams the candle with a shovel. It puts the candle out. So that’s good. But it shoves the candle into my ass too. That’s bad. I’m getting quite the collection in there. One lesbian said I should start a Wicks ‘N Sticks store in my ass. I might. I heard it was lucrative, which is like laxative; which is what I need real bad.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Camden C said...

OMFG I think this is the best one yet.

I have tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard. I'm glad I wasn't drinking. I'd have shot it all over my computer, and my mom is NOT buying me another one til next year.

August 07, 2006 11:04 PM  
Anonymous LisaM said...

Saw this site over on TMZ and thought I would check it out.

Pretty funny!

August 07, 2006 11:50 PM  
Anonymous BunnyFooFoo said...

This is the best blog I have ever read. Keep it up. You mad man you.

August 08, 2006 8:54 AM  
Anonymous Roo Maroo said...

Don't worry Not Adam Sandler. Lesbians never let me kiss them either.

August 08, 2006 8:56 AM  
Anonymous Mr. Magoo said...

Somebody didn't take their medication today...or maybe ever.

August 08, 2006 9:51 AM  
Anonymous Steve said...

Ass candles? Are you freakin kidding me? WTF!?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAH

August 08, 2006 6:08 PM  
Anonymous Corvinopolis said...

Is this Adam Sandler's site?

August 08, 2006 6:11 PM  
Anonymous BunnyFooFoo said...

Corv...I heard that it was, but I also heard that it wasn't.

So, what's my point? Uh...

OK, forget it.

August 08, 2006 7:19 PM  

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