Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Flipflop Word Sign


I was out skipping down Main Street in my little sister's old flip flops that I made into a dress, you know, like I do every Tuesday. I had to stop skipping and rhythmically honking a bicycle horn because a church sign decided to speak out against me. Well not speak out, don't be stupid. It worded out against me with its words. When its words shot into my eyes I almost tripped onto the sidewalk (which would have hurt on account of the flip flops offering little in the way of protection and I wasn't wearing any underwear or a condom this time). The cheese I was making in my mouth fell out onto the dirty sidewalk. Now it's going to be all crunchy. But that's besides the point. The point is, the sign clearly doesn't like me. I'd say its hostility is duly noted. Though, frankly I am flattered that it thought enough to mention to me that bingo was tonite. I marked it on my calendar when I got home. But that's besides the point. Stop being besides the point. I'm trying to say something. Well, not say something. Don't be stupid. I'm trying to word something with my words. This is the words I am making: The sign is against me, which has made water shoot out of my eyes so hard that I decided to skip back (sullenly) to my front lawn and spin around in circles. At least the grass liked me. It was thirsty. You can tell it's thirsty because it turns itself brown. Thats' grass words for "I'm thirsty". It wasn't thirsty after about half an hour. Some of the neighborhood kids put their bathing suits on and ran around the front yard while I was spinning and shooting water out of my eyes. They didn't do that the whole time. They stopped when their parents yelled at them to get away from me. I think they're dumb like the sign.

Let's settle this once and for all. Are you on the side of the sign or the grass? Word your words in the comment word section.

44 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was on the grass side...but your eyes stopped shooting water out and just sprinkled by the time I got there. I stole your flip flops though...your hung buddy! Actually I only stole the one flip flop...I'm holding it for ransom.

August 09, 2006 12:54 PM  
Blogger Not Adam Sandler said...

It's OK. I have more flip flops. My whole dress is made out of them. You can have that one because you are on the grass side.

August 09, 2006 1:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where's the blog for 8/9/06? I rely on this to keep me level headed...still anonymous--I like that name for myself.."Anonymous".

August 10, 2006 12:32 PM  
Blogger The Elderly said...

Signs speak.... course they do.... heck some of my best conversatons, have been with signs and the back of cereal boxes... you've just gotta suspend your disbelief, and avod getting picked up by the brain police...

August 10, 2006 4:27 PM  
Blogger Not Adam Sandler said...

anonymous, the blog for 8/9/06 got into a fight with the blog from 8/10/06. Since 8/10/06 weighed 1/9th more, well naturally, it won and took it's rightful place.

The Elderly, the brain police can't catch you if you wear a tinfoil hat.

August 10, 2006 8:39 PM  
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September 27, 2010 9:41 PM  

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