Friday, August 04, 2006

Darth Vader Space Money

Yes, it is true. Darth Vader works in a grocery store. There is a undercover camera (probably from the CIA or CTU or maybe the rebel forces keeping tabs on the empire) that caught the whole thing on recordered sight and sound video machines. Go two entries down to see. But before you do, put these words in your eyes:

PLEASE, even though Darth Vader is made out to be a bad guy in the movies, don't believe everything you know about him. He is really Bruce Willis and he's sensitive about the whole Luke Skywalker dating Demi Moore thing. Just let him be. The link to the video is a couple posts down. My other posts on the topic will illucidate the topic for you and then when you finish reading them, you will be more illucidated than you had been previously, unless you already knew it because you are from the CIA or the CTU or maybe the rebel forces keeping tabs on the empire.

Whatever you do, don't snicker at him. He works in the grocery store to keep his cover, yeah, but also because he needs the money. Even though movies pay a lot of money, Darth Vader is from space, and they don't take space money here. So, he needs real money to use and this is all he knows to do. Not to mention, the snickering at him hurts him even though he doesn't show it and even if he chokes you and lifts you off the ground using the Dark Side. He's really just sensitive. That is why he turned to the Dark Side in the first place; all the snickering at him. And not the good kind of snickering, with the chocolate, caramel, peanuts and the newgit. That kind of snickering would make him stay on the Light Side and he wouldn't have to hide behind all the pain in his breathey breathey black cape suit.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Starchild 1999 said...

This is freekin' funny!

August 04, 2006 10:53 PM  
Anonymous Crayon said...

I am totally laughing my ass off.

August 05, 2006 11:35 PM  

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