Thursday, August 10, 2006

Bowel Movements Grandma

My grandmother is always interested in the quality of my bowel movements. She calls them BMs. My grandmother goes to me, "So, did you have a nice BM?". And I am like totally embareassed because I had just had the most beautiful and life affirming BM of my life (you would have fallen in love with it. I thought about framing it, but I didn't.) and I am standing there in the middle of our living room with like 12 other people my parents had for dinner. I'm like, "Grandma! Why would you ask me such a thing?" And she's all like, "Duh! I can see your pants sagging." Then I got mad because she knows I am collecting them and I am waiting to put on a show when my collection is complete and she knows my collection isn't complete yet. She's just jealous because she hasn't made a BM in like 3 weeks. Plus, I was already mad because I found out that she has been sneaking into my bed at night and stealing my BMs for her own collection, just so people won't suspect that she hasn't been making her own in 3 weeks. So, I was like, "Fine! Tell everyone about my secret BM collection in my pants! You haven't made your own BM in 3 weeks and the only reason you have a BM to show people is because you stole mine when I was in bed at night." Then the 12 people that my parents had had for dinner were all like laughing and pointing all of their fingers at my grandmother. She was so busted. Then she yelled, "I do to so make my own BMs! I was just borrowing yours to make sure your BMs were good. I can't tell anymore since you don't keep your collection in your sock drawer like you used to." Then I realized that she was right and she just did it because she cares about me. Then we all held hands and I regailed them with detailed stories of my recent BMs. Afterwards she gave me back several BMs that she had stolen from my collection in my pants. I put them back in my pants and my grandmother and the 12 people my parents had had for dinner were happy.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mel Gibson is entitled to his opinion, you don't don't hae to agree wiyh him, but give him the respect he deserves he can think the way he wants to weather anyone agrees or not. Leave him alone all of you hypacrits, I know a lot of you agree with him but haven't the balls to admit it. Get off his back. Also its no wonder I wasn't able to comment on AOL cause half the page isn't there, thats power for the course for AOL the most incompatent ISP in history of the web, they are the worst ripp-off ISP going, they have been sued how many times now? They just rip anyone they can and refuse to repay them when its proven what they have stolen from many peoples, the internet is better off without them (AOL) that is; they still owe me monies they illegally took from my ban account that I know I'll never see, just like many others, they are corupt in the highest degree. Face the music AOL you ain't wanted or needed get lost. And let Mel state his opinion I don't think the US is a total police state YET!!!

August 11, 2006 10:48 PM  
Blogger Not Adam Sandler said...

Thank you, anonymous. That was the most thoughtful post on this blog entry. I agree, like my story about my bowel movements suggests, Mel Gibson is entitled to his opinion, as are you. And yes, AOL does suck. Keep coming back!

August 12, 2006 11:54 AM  

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