Thursday, July 20, 2006

The End (the end where it begins, not the ending end)

So, anyway, having securely strapped the raspberry Jell-O to the lamppost, I had to itch myself in public because it is more satisfactory to me when I do it in public. You know how when you have to itch yourself it feels so much better if you can go to the food court at the mall and itch yourself in front of an old lady with blue hair and then just go to town when she is trying to put the falafel in her ears? Well, it’s like that with me too. So after I filled my fingernails up with the crud scrapings from my pubes, I went to the bra store to wipe myself with ladies underwear and secretly blow farts in them and then put them back. It makes me thirsty so I usually just go around trying to suckle until someone lets me. It can be hard to find someone to let me suckle, so I have to plan ahead. I have to start doing it before I get too thirsty. Otherwise, I get too thirsty and I have to go all the way home to suckle from my dog. His nipple is too long and stretchy though. It only gives one good squirt of milk after about a minute of sucking hard. Then he runs dry and starts to bite me.

10 Comments:

Anonymous FuzzMaster said...

wtf? This is some crazy sh*t.

July 20, 2006 10:41 PM  
Anonymous Roo Maroo said...

funny. NO totaly hillareous! OMFG

July 20, 2006 10:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My "so called" friend sent me here. I'm gonna punch him as hard as I can. My brain hurts now. I think he dammaged me.

But yeah, funny as crap. Write more dude.

July 20, 2006 11:28 PM  
Anonymous Alyce said...

I'm scared. Don't write more, "dude". Check yourself in to a hospital. Make sure they give you LOTS of pills.

July 21, 2006 12:19 AM  
Anonymous Qtard said...

AHH HAA HAAAHAHAAHAH Haahhh!

Totally love your movies man.

July 21, 2006 6:28 AM  
Anonymous Staceybunny said...

I got an email with a link to this place. I guess the purpose of this is to make us think what??? I wonder about YOU. What kind of weirdo writes like this.
By the way, your grammer is like a child.

July 21, 2006 9:48 AM  
Anonymous Staceybunny said...

I meant "grammar". DUH.

Now who's the freak?

July 21, 2006 9:49 AM  
Anonymous Parts Department said...

I was drinking my Diet Coke when I read this thing. Bad move. I did a spit take and some shot out my nose.

Cleaning my keyboard now...

Don't suppose this is THE Adam Sandler? No one would believe it anyway, right?

July 21, 2006 12:32 PM  
Anonymous Eric the Half a Bee said...

Holy CRAP is that funny!

I feel your pain, Parts Department.

July 21, 2006 9:55 PM  
Anonymous Ogwatansian One said...

Definitely 1 sick mo fo. Holy shit.

July 23, 2006 5:00 PM  

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